Excerpt From Daddy’s Little Girl, Chapter 4

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Childhood Separation

Now I know that Mama let me get away with really being lazy because she missed Cheri. I didn’t think of the pain she must still be going through. I would bug her and beg her, up to a point (I knew not to cross the line), until she gave in to what I wanted. Believe me; it wasn’t for toys or anything like that. Mainly it was to go outside and play after she said I couldn’t. Wayne was still too little to care, but Perry and Ronnie would look at me in disgust because I would get my way. At the time, I didn’t care much about what they thought. If I didn’t get my way, I would become angry, sulk and complain even at the risk of getting a whipping. I had become, even in my own eyes, a spoiled child. More and more, my dislike for myself grew. I knew what I was doing was wrong.

Eventually, I began to feel sorry for Mama and eased up quite a bit, but the damage had been done as far as Perry and Ronnie were concerned. We kids still loved each other, but now Perry and I were not as buddy, buddy as we once were when Cheri was alive. After Cheri died, Perry and I still walked to school together, but after school Perry very seldom walked home with me. More and more, he would walk home with his friends from Lincoln Grade School. That left me to walk home alone.

About Hila Esters